Friday, August 5, 2016

'Merage: 1977 Chevrolet Monza Mirage

Back when the Vega came out, everyone knew it already needed more of just about everything. The Monza, an evolution thereof, kinda-sorta satisfied that but Chevy really phoned it in. Now with 50% more ‘Merica, the Monza Mirage was an IMSA inspired and dealer affixed package that usually came with a V8 but never failed to deliver in a screaming eagle Amerigasm, half-empty Budweiser-to-the forehead kind of way. Find this 1977 Chevrolet Monza Mirage for sale in Round Lake, IL for $12,500.

The body cladding and the window mullets fit quite nicely with the Uncle Sam theme, but c'mon, where are the Keystone Classics? The 5 spoke wheels are about a decade early to this party of all-American badassery. The hood scoop and blower (671 maybe?) look pretty phenomenal, no arguments there. One thing's for sure - nobody will ever mistake you for a wine sommelier or international diplomat in this rolling Lee Greenwood album.

The Mirage would’ve come with whatever the dealer wanted to shove you out the door with while you were high on fender flares. This could’ve been the aluminum block and iron head 78-horsepower Vega derived Disaster-Tron four, a 4.3L 110hp eight cylinder, or man, I can’t go on talking about these options. This guy pulled out whatever mess of vacuum lines and partially aspirated cylinders came out and shoved in a blown 406. Way to do the paint scheme justice, you mighty patriot!

Not exactly exuding calm, the interior of this Monza appears as though it was dyed at the factory through mass animal sacrifice. A sea of crimson synthesized materials comprise your driving environment, centered around a faux wood console with a lever that determines the direction of your axle-trampling, pegleg burnout. Three pedals were rarely available in Monzas, this car being equipped with a Turbo Hydramatic 350.

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  1. This is our company car.
    [image src="" width="400px"/]

  2. "..interior of this Monza appears as though it was dyed at the factory through mass animal sacrifice."

    I was chuckling during the whole article but this line made me loose it! Thanks and keep up the great writing!

  3. The Monza was a gorgeous shape, particularly compared to what else was coming out of the Slough of Bumper Despond era.

    But...but...they couldn't have built a heavier car that size if they'd tried. It's been thirty-five years since I've been near one and I still remember the sheer hernia-inducing mass of the doors. The engine plucked straight out of a Camaro with cast-iron everything and the big Harrison A6 AC compressor. The big Saginaw iron steering box likewise straight out of the big GM parts bin.

    And then there were the Buick and Olds versions that went out the door with the 90HP 231ci stumble-fire V6.


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