Your neighbors are going to think you are some kind of creeper when this van shows up in your driveway, but you don't care. You are free to distance yourself from those fools anytime you want now. While you are away you can get bombed out of your gourd downtown and sleep it off in a parking spot. You'll wake up feeling like warmed-over death, but with a wallet full of money and a valid driver's license.
The decor in this machine was inspired by your grandma's house, but this ain't the Ritz. It's a hideout on wheels for your new alter ego and he does not care about such things. The new you is spontaneous and answers to nobody. When you road trip, you don't pay for campsites. You use church parking lots. You may feel the need to start your weekend a few hours early. That's cool 'cause you drove this van to work and you have it ready to go straight to the beach.
Tailgating? You do that better than anyone else, too. Let other people's high-dollar rigs entertain you with their big outdoor screens and sound systems. You paid the price of admission, so you can party in situ the night before and use your new carefree attitude to scam brewskis like a bandito. Congratulations. You've arrived.
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