Friday, June 10, 2016

Cyclo-Killer: 1982 Subaru BRAT:

by Matt -- Forget for a second all of the obvious reasons to want a BRAT; the jump seats, the stickers, the 5-speed 4x4 goodness. The real reason to have this Roadkill trucky-type- car-like thing is the dash-knob- activated Cyclops light that flings itself out from behind the Subaru constellation like a disproportionately sized shooting star. In the unlikely event that you are presented with the opportunity to pass, the user simply activates the center lamp which in-turn causes the offending driver to either move right or wildly gesticulate and brake check you through the back glass of his diesel Escort. Find this one rust free, just out of 20 years of indoor storage, and with all the goodies in Charleston, South Carolina for the otherworldly sum of $2,500 via the side of the road.

The seller's phone number is 843-722-3551, but please for the love of all things, don't call him/her in the middle of the night and if you are reading this in the year 2022, just go get a dang self driving googapple cube and leave this guy alone.

Developed to avoid the Chicken Tax on imported commercial vehicles, the BRAT was a hacked up GL wagon with two small jump seats o’ death affixed to the bed. The extra couple of chairs turned that federally scrutinized cargo area into a passenger compartment, adding yet another vehicle to the cars-mom-won’t- let-you-ride-in list. Unlike most of the nightmare BRAT projects across the South, this Brumby appears completely rust free, even in the bed, underside floors, and inner fenders. Unfortunately, the optional bull bar is not included in this particular example, probably for fear of blocking the magnificent Cyclops.

No doubt with that amount of sitting around, any prospective buyers should budget time and cash for some fiddling with unavoidable fuel and brake hydraulic system maladies. The odometer shows 125-odd thousand miles, from which the seats show the most wear. Luckily, what's left of the interior is proudly plaid and shouldn't be too hard to re-stitch with some lumberjack shirt fragments.

Considering the fact that most BRATs have either transcended their rusty bodies or the realm of sane pricing, this could be a reasonable bargain for someone willing to take a little bit of a risk. And if you’re into jump seats, a little risk sounds like your bag anyway.

See a cheaper way to get road rash?

Matt, a self-proclaimed bottom-feeder of the classic car market, spends half of his time buying cars, half of his time retrieving them, and the remaining third on keeping them on the road.


  1. Replies
    1. try

    2. Anon -- DT's intrepid field reporter Matt found this car on the side of the road and took the pics. No link, but there is a phone number in the body of the listing above.
      -Vince DT Editor-in-Chief

  2. Cyclo-Killer, Qu'est-ce que c'est.

    1. Fa,Fa,Fa,fa,fa,fa,fa,fa (I hope you appreciated the lower case f's for the last ones because David Byrne sang them faster..)
      Also: Cyclops info and picture:

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. I know I appreciated them so this must be the place.

    4. Ha! I'm so glad y'all caught that.


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