Friday, November 6, 2015

Coffee Brake: The Last Car You'll Ever Buy

-by Kaibeezy. 
Kids today have lost the nuance of a good euphemism. Think of how we used to try to preserve the dignity of our venerated elders - senior citizens, fogies, grumpies, cottonheads, coffin dodgers. Nope, now that distinguished silver haired gentleman or lady is just an "old".

Some of them drive cars. Some of them drive old cars. Some of those cars crap out, often through neglected maintenance. Like anyone else, an old doesn't want to be stuck on the side of the road when the wheels fall off, so when the 98 Accord nearly fails its annual inspection due to a dangerously rusted chassis, for example, it's time for a new buggy.

If the old asks me, which he or she did, I'm in that quandary I was in the other week re the big truck. Well, first I'm in the quandary of whether to press the issue of "should you be driving?" They'll just buy something anyway, most likely a brand new bottom of the line Accord. So I may as well make a good recommendation. 
 
They don't trust the cars we DTers would prefer. New is best. I can't in good faith recommend a new car, even to an old, due to the financial hit alone. What car?

- a newer used car, probably CPO
- creaky knees need something taller to ease into

And those really are the dispositive criteria. Everything else is icing on the carbuncle.

Small SUV, right? Honda CRV or Toyota RAV? Honda Element would be something, but they are out of print and too old for a grumpy old old. Kia Soul? Scion xB? Nissan Cube? Funny that those are marketed to damn kids, the olds love them. Too bad Oldsmobile is gone. Ooh, butterfly. (drops mic)

21 comments:

  1. Really, this is about surviving the end times, right? Therefore, the only answer is this:
    [img]http://vehicleshowcase.madmaxmovie.com/images/gallery/thumb18.jpg[/img]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That one works, depending on how you envision the end times. This suggests a world where society has broken down and local war lords rule by the volume of their heavy metal anthems, and their theatrical pyrotechnics. The United States of Tinnitus.

      Delete
  2. Any year Subaru Forester. The perfect car for "olds", women, and stay at home dad's.

    [img]http://spidercars.net/wp-content/uploads/images/2004-Subaru-Forester_15088.jpg[/img]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Except for the excellence with with Subaru managed to engineer the life of their materials and engine seals.

      Delete
    2. yes, that. I haven't the slightest idea why everyone you talk to says that their subaru is oh so reliable shortly after they explain their head gasket/ engine rebuild.

      Delete
    3. They are the same ones that make the "Fix It Again, Tony" jokes when they find out you own an Italian car.

      Delete
    4. I had a nice rebuttal to Zach typed out, but it disappeared...just consider replacing all gaskets in the engine ever 100K miles and all gaskets in the transmission every 140K as regular service, and you are good to go.

      Delete
  3. Lightly used or CPO Toyota Venza. We test drove one and it felt like the perfect old person car.

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/Wksfxnh.jpg?1[/img]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Frankly all Toyota's feel like the perfect old person's car. Which undoubtedly explains why the median age of a new Toyota buyer is somewhere over 60.

      Delete
    2. Funny, my 70-something parents just bought one of these.

      Delete
  4. I really don't have anything to add to this, as just this week, my mother, against all my well-reasoned arguments, traded away her three-year-old Toyota RAV4 on a brand-new Toyota Highlander. Ugh. Forty-four large sticker, and it's still AARP white! I could just hang myself. And yes, she has declared this to be the last vehicle she will ever buy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's rough, a 3 year old RAV4 would probably last well into the apocalypse..

      Delete
  5. The Mercury Grand Marquis. What every old needs at the assisted living facility. It doesn't matter that it will kill you on a slippery road, because you will take the bus to church instead of driving anyway. It's paid for and it doubles as a storage unit. Your children can worry about keeping the plates current.

    http://spidercars.net/wp-content/uploads/images/2003-Mercury-Grand-Marquis.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  6. This article and most of the comments are totally BS. I am in the old group and still drive my Porsche 924S in summer, my MB 190E winter beater and E350 van to tow the trailer to spend the winter down south. My son drives the Forester with the grand-kids. I live in the Great White North.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for finally commenting, Dad. See you at Thanksgiving.

      Delete
    2. exceptio probat regulam in casibus non exceptis

      Delete
  7. I already have that car. 2007 Infiniti M35. Thing is bulletproof. Easily the best built car I have ever owned, and at over 120k miles, is just now broken in. Would not even think about driving something else.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I like the Venza i know it's just a camry wagon interior dash switch control is a little hokey but toyota reliable.hard to beat.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'll just ride the horse I came in on.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I did like my '83 Olds 98 Brougham 2-door until somebody stole it, though.

    ReplyDelete

Commenting Commandments:
I. Thou Shalt Not write anything your mother would not appreciate reading.
II. Thou Shalt Not post as anonymous unless you are posting from mobile and have technical issues. Use name/url when posting and pick something Urazmus B Jokin, Ben Dover. Sir Edmund Hillary Clint Eastwood...it don't matter. Just pick a nom de plume and stick with it.
III. Honor thy own links by using <a href ="http://www.linkgoeshere"> description of your link </a>
IV. Remember the formatting tricks <i>italics</i> and <b> bold </b>
V. Thou Shalt Not commit spam.
VI. To embed images: use [image src="http://www.IMAGE_LINK.com" width="400px"/]. Limit images to no wider than 400 pixels in width. No more than one image per comment please.