Friday, July 31, 2015

Ferrontiac Fierenzo: 1986 Pontiac Fiero Kit Replicar

Secret Agent 2M4 James Bondo cranks up the radio while he is driving this 1986 Pontiac Fiero Kit Car offered for $5,500 in SF Bay Area on craigslist.  The music goes a little like this...

This is the end
Hold your breath and count to ten
Feel the chassis creak and then
Hear the clutch burst again

For this is the end
I've drowned and dreamt this moment
Tags overdue, owed on the loan
Take it away, I hope it's stolen


This Pontiac, it's an Enzo
Its gears are tall
I glued it all together

Let some guy call, before it crumbles
I can't stand it at all
Glued it all together
When a guy calls
Will anybody call...


A guy's call is where we start
A dozen miles and it falls apart
Will it pass the smog, chances are dark
You may have my number, you can't take my name
But you'll never hear that V12 start

Let a guy fall, before it crumbles
Can't stand it at all
Sell it all together


Let a guy call, before it crumbles
Can't stand it at all
Sell it all together
Hope some guy calls

Where you go I go,
What you see I see
I know I'll never be free, without keyless security
Open your scissors doors
Keeping me from harm
Please don't crush my hand
Or I'll quit the band


Let a guy call, before it crumbles
Can't stand it at all
Sell it all together

Let a guy call, before it crumbles
Can't stand it at all
Sell it all together
Hope some guy calls


Let some guy call
Can't stand it at all
Hope some guy calls

Woooooooh...cough cough...sputter...BLAM...<silence>

My apologies to Adele.

26 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

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    1. The same guy that walked around talking into a fake cell phone back in the 80s would love this car cause its a special lightweight V-12 and everything. I think he would keep his fake hair in the odd square console.....

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    2. The same guy that walked around talking into a fake cell phone back in the 80s would love this car cause its a special lightweight V-12 and everything. I think he would keep his fake hair in the odd square console.....

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  3. very UGLY! take it directly to the wrecker and make sure that it gets crushed! Blahh..

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  4. That is FUGLY! Where is the eye bleach? People have blinded themselves for much less valid reasons than seeing this!

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  5. Was never a fan of the Enzo's looks to begin with. And trying to translate them into Fiero proportions doesn't do them any favors.

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  6. A yugo might have better lines then this Abortion !

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    Replies
    1. Not to mention more authentic Italian styling, as they were licensed copies of a Fiat.

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  7. [img]http://i.imgur.com/rG7Ncll.jpg?1[/img]

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    1. Also a faux Ferrari built on a Fiero...

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  8. I'm more of a F40 man. Also, we used to call these "Fierris", before Guy Fieri came along and stole the name. Come to think of it though, it's apropos....they're both cheesy wannabe facsimiles of the real thing.

    [img]http://images.freerevs.com/gallery/48813839.jpg[/img]

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  9. I've never understood the appeal of kit cars. Does anybody know of any person that has seriously ever built or bought a kit car? Can those kit car owners be taken seriously? It's like Cosplay for cars.

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    1. Depends on the car. I'd love to build a Caterham 7 or a Westfield XI.

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    2. Seriously? There are a great many wonderful kit cars on this side of the pond, and a bunch more in England. I built a lotus 7 replica that was dead reliable, great fun, and could happily spank practically anything up to a well-driven Z06 Vette. I'd love to have anything by Factory Five racing, an Exocet, anything by Westfield, Birkin, the Catfish, need I go on?

      This car on the other hand is an abomination, and is best seen as comic relief.

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    3. Yeah, me. They're a lot of fun, despite the horror stories.

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    4. I went and looked up the Catfish. Wow!

      [img]http://i.imgur.com/YYVlECz.jpg[/img]

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    5. ^^^ Perhaps the best thing to happen to an NA/NB Miata drivetrain, aside from being in a Miata of course.

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  10. First off......who's Adele? Secondly why would anyone want to pretend to drive a Ferrari that was really a Fiero? I gotta get it with it!

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  11. Okay, if you're starting from scratch you can make a convincing Cobra, or Lotus 7, or pretty much anything that was originally ironmongery anyway.

    But starting from one mass-produced unit structure and turning it into something else? Okay, maybe a Corvette chassis or backbone into something else, but this whole Fiero thing I just don't get.

    The Fiero proportions simply don't work for anything that pretends to be larger. They end up looking like Liberace's golf cart.

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  12. This photo truly drives home how awkwardly proportioned (to put it politely) this thing really is.

    [img]http://images.craigslist.org/00X0X_4vtu1tOu5hA_600x450.jpg[/img]

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    Replies
    1. Does this pic remind anyone else of how a cat arches its back when it's, um, evacuating a hairball?

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  13. Where do i get a plastic v12? I want one in the back window of my corolla.

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  14. There are lots of nice looking kit cars. This is not one of them. The idea is to improve the car. A Fiero is not a bad looking car; rather nice I always thought. To do this to it? Ugggh. would have been better to just restore the original with say, a saddle leather color interior with a black or white body, make sure the original suspension is all in good shape, and nice wheels and tires (not some goofy giant rims).

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