Friday, June 19, 2015

DTO: Center of Attn: 2011 Porsche 911 Cabrio

Look, I get it, everybody thinks Porsche drivers are pricks.  It is a joke that has gone far beyond its original conception, and the horse corpse has been thoroughly flogged.  Seriously, I have known dozens...a handful...a few at least one 911 owner who is a great guy and not just because his tan is so fabulous, but because he genuinely cares for other people.  Sure, he might call them "the poors," but he tips well and has great hair.  So, yeah, I joke about the Porshupine...but to build an entire custom car just to ridicule the friendless/wifeless/mistressless/kidless life of a Porsche 911 really going a bridge too far.    Find this 2011 Porsche 911 Cabrio bidding here on eBay for $1,000 reserve-not-met with 7 days to go, located in Miami, FL.

This is really fantastic, just image sitting in the center of your cabrio Porsche, and with the top up, you can easily extend a middle finger to people you are passing on both sides of the road, shoulder, or sidewalk that you happen to be riding on.  Drive through banking is going to be difficult, and forget about using an automated toll booth...but the ability to nail an apex doesn't come without its costs. 

For those curious about the setup, it looks like they pushed the entire center console about one steering wheel width to the right and everything else just followed.  The car is a DSG equipped version, so no need to worry about complex shift linkages or clutch cylinder location.  I do wonder how you'd flick cigar ashes on the street, but I guess you could just flick up when the top is down.

And then it hit me.  This isn't the Porsche for the guy with no friends...this is the Porsche for the guy with TWO friends, a rare bird indeed.  Typically, a 911 has these vestigial rear seats that are for insurance and South African sprinter killer use only, but here you've got a Kareem Abdul-Jabbar amount of legroom on the left and a Jar Jar Binks amount on the right.  Sure, the width of the seats is limited to people who can match Scarlet O'Hara's 17-inch waist, but you've got room for a 911 back seat!!

See another center seated car for the wealthy swing voter?


  1. This is the most ridiculous thing I've seen. What a waste of money, but kudos to the shop that did it.

  2. Yeah I used to have a problem with the idea of owning a Porsche, until it was proven that biggest jerks drive BMWs or Priuses.

    1. Thank you! My wife drives a BMW (and is not a jerk).
      What is it with Prius drivers?! Jerks.

  3. I'm sure many will disagree with me (though I don't know why, in this case); the real fun is driving a 911. For that reason, I applaud this wild custom. Makes perfect sense to me. Bravo. And imagine how the JDM boys will feel. They get so excited when they see a car with a postal worker driving position. I've seen them nearly cause an accident to get close to a car with the steering wheel on the right. Then they see this...they're gonna plotz.

  4. Somebody couldn't afford that McLaren F1 they really wanted, so this is what they did instead.

  5. OMG - the crack about Pistorius is just priceless.


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