Thursday, October 30, 2014

10k: DS21 Got Trunk: 1968 Citroën DS21 Pallas Base 2.2L

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at this 1968 Citroen DS21.
It is on eBay. [scoff]
It looks like one of those DT guys' rides.
But, you know, who understands those DT guys? [scoff]
They only like it, because, it was a tip from Hugh, 'kay?
I mean, this ride, is bidding for $8800.
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, out there, I mean— gross. Look!
It's just so... purple!


I like big Citroëns and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a DS drives in with an itty bitty steering wheel spokes
And a round thing in your face
Your oleopneumatic suspension gets sprung, wanna sell your truck
'Cause you notice that seat was stuffed
Deep in the Pirellis it's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get a French car
And take its picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that clutch you got makes me so ornery


Ooh, trunk-o'-smooth-paint
You say you wanna a Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average 2CV
I've seen them driftin'
To hell with rear-wheel-drive'
FWD is perfect, when its wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' fast cars are the thing
Take the average DT reader and ask him that
It gotta pack much in the back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your daily driver got the LHV? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to change it! (Change it!) Change it! (Change it!)
Change it to LHM!
LHV is hydroscopic!


(US face with Euro booty)
Seal Beam Headlights!
(US face with Euro booty)
(US face with Euro booty)

I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gear
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-wishbone, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Saturn
'Cause plastic parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and metal
So find that juicy double
DT's E-i-C in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that windshield bubble



So I'm lookin' at Jalopnik videos
Knock-knee'd Miatas drivin' like bros
You can have them apexes
I'll keep my cars like Flo Jo
A word to the thick DeeEss pillars, I wanna get some
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna cruise
Till the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and run
And I'd rather drive all day
'Cause your tires are long and strong
And I'm down to get the clutches friction on
So, IDs! (Yeah!) IDs! (Yeah)
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes (Yeah!)
Then turn around! Shift in reverse!
Even E30 boys got to shout
DS 21 got trunk!
DS 21 got trunk!!
Yeah, baby... when it comes to Mazdas, Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection.
M3-4-5? Ha ha, only if its got a 2-stroke swap.


So your girlfriend rolls a Yugo, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a snowmobile motor in the back of her Yugo
My custom Honda don't want none
Unless you've got shifter on the tree, see
You can build side bars or bush guards,
But please don't lose that i-4,
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the DS ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So next to a Mazda Cosmo you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your engine is small and in the curves yer kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout getting oppo by flickin'


To the bone head dudes in the magazines:
You ain't it, VW Thing!
Give me a Citroen, I can't resist 'em
Red cars and ricers ain't the thing
Some knucklehead tried to diss
'Cause his cars are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So fellows, if the suspension is on the ground,
And you want a French car throw down,
Email tips@dailyturismo.com
And kick them nasty thoughts
DS 21 got trunk!
DS 21 got trunk!



Little in the middle but DS got much trunk
Little in the middle but DS got much trunk
Little in the middle but DS got much trunk
Little in the middle but DS got much trunk

Edit: updated year from '61 to '68...where'd I get the '61 from?  Thx Bobinott for pointing that out.

16 comments:

  1. slow clap with a single tear...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I... I don't know what to say. There is so much win here I don't know if I can handle it. Bravo.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fleetwood T. BroughamOctober 30, 2014 at 12:11 PM

    I'm done reading the Internet for a while. Everything else will just disappoint me after this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Man, DT is on it today! Hilarious. That fact that it is a Citroen just makes it sweeter for me.

    Just a picky point, it is a 1968, not a 1961.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whoops. Either the seller changed the listing or I mixed it up a lot. Fixed.
      -Vince DT E-i-C.

      Delete
  5. "A thing of beauty is a joy forever" - Sir Mix-a-lot

    ReplyDelete
  6. "M3-4-5? Ha ha, only if its got a 2-stroke swap."

    So much want.

    Also second for post of the year.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Place one hand on your computer, the other on your heart, and belt out a hearty "I believe" !
    Amen brother!

    Now please pass the collection plate

    ReplyDelete
  8. Golly that was fun, I'll have to toss tips to turisimo more often.

    I noticed that the sellers of this car sold another Citroen about eight months ago and there is still a SM on their yard , apparently a former menage a trois of Citroen

    ReplyDelete
  9. Think I got to read it again when I've got time.

    The drive up front and the trunk out back. There's a place for that.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I hope someone sent this to the seller.
    Pure awesomeness

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nope just found it that was my car and my wifey omg

    ReplyDelete

Commenting Commandments:
I. Thou Shalt Not write anything your mother would not appreciate reading.
II. Thou Shalt Not post as anonymous unless you are posting from mobile and have technical issues. Use name/url when posting and pick something Urazmus B Jokin, Ben Dover. Sir Edmund Hillary Clint Eastwood...it don't matter. Just pick a nom de plume and stick with it.
III. Honor thy own links by using <a href ="http://www.linkgoeshere"> description of your link </a>
IV. Remember the formatting tricks <i>italics</i> and <b> bold </b>
V. Thou Shalt Not commit spam.
VI. To embed images: use [image src="http://www.IMAGE_LINK.com" width="400px"/]. Limit images to no wider than 400 pixels in width. No more than one image per comment please.