Friday, March 14, 2014

Coffee Brake: What Do You Do With A Cheap Ferrari V12?

Welcome to another Friday edition of Coffee Brake.  We'll give you a breather from the bad Pi day puns, but don't worry, they will be a constant theme in the afternoon.  While browsing through the onslaught of crap that is also known as "ebay auctions," I stumbled across an almost new Ferrari 599 GTB V12 engine offered for a starting bid of $25,000 with 4 days to go.  The question isn't "should I buy this engine" but "what should I put it into?"  Conversations in the DT office spiraled quickly out of control and into petty name calling and tomfoolery...but the conclusion was clear.  Wherever this engine lands, it needs to be into something irreverent, awesome and totally worthless as an end product. 

Image credit; kaibeezy

I was of the opinion that this needed to go into a derelict Fiat 124, but Hunsbloger cut a sharp apex to awesome when he wrote:
Only two possible choices.... Fiero.... Fierrari; Corvair... Corverrari
Good choices.  Kaibeezy took it one step further...
Hunsbloger is on the right track - reverse of a Pantera - American car, flashy but underpowered, what springs to mind? C3 Corvette? hm, post-78 fastback glass, smoggery hobbled - imagine seeing this warp core under the long glass! wonder if I could photoshop that?
And the above photoshop was born.  Mixing the best $5k twizzler chassis'd C3 and an awesome $25k Ferrari engine would result in an end product worth about $10k.  Bingo.

No one is going to argue that the 6.0 liter V12 from a Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano isn't totally awesome - who wouldn't want 611 horsepower of prancing pony power backfiring from his exhaust pipe with every upshift of the F1 style sequential transmission? The only problem is that if you put this into a "cool" car you sort of become a douchebag.  It would be great in a 1965 Mustang Fastback or an E3 Bavaria..but you'd need to start wearing pointy toe shoes, expensive shades and Ferrari officially licensed hats/jackets.  Put it into a total pile of crap like a Volvo wagon, or Rolls Royce Silver Cloud, and suddenly you are a thrift store tweed jacket wearing trend setter and Oakley pays you to wear their shades. 

Now it is your choice.  It's your engine.  What do you do with it?  Comments below.  Better yet, photoshop (or MS paint, crayon & camera phone...whatever, we aren't picky) an image, email us and we'll post it up.


  1. ~ let's all throw $$$$money$$$$ at Kaibeezy and an unlimited letter of credit. THE new Italian-American hybrid !!!!!

  2. I'm sticking with the Corverrari.. if it can be done with a hulking huge Jag V12 as shown here , why not keep the cylinder count the same and double the horsepower and torque!

  3. Irreverant, awesome and worthless? Put it in a John Deere self-propelled windrower and show it at the county fair.

  4. A corvair but the truck version would be nice, engine all exposed.

    Ferrambo was a nice execution of this:

    I always though a V12 Jag motor in a 1950 hudson would be sweet.

  5. It would go in this.

  6. It should fit nicely in the Maserati Ghibli v6. Swap the intercoolers for radiators and a transaxle from the 4200 coupe. In the long run it will cost you less than rebuilding the engine every 40k miles (ask me how I know)

    Maserati Ghibli

  7. how about the world's most expensive coffee table - then I could just stare at it every day and dream my dreams

  8. Spotted this at eBay:

    I almost had thoughts of an LSx for this one, but a late model Ferrari V12? Sure- why not.

    1. ooh, that's a beauty, even eviscerated and hanging for a fagiano alla contadina - i always thought "drive train" meant engine + transmission, but in baton rouge it apparently also includes the axles and suspension - can someone clarify?

  9. You mean Ferrari engines no longer have the double upside-down Fram oil filters? I am so disappointed...

    But I think the natural home for this engine would be in the back seat of a 1960s Fiat 500. It could be like an Italian take on the Renault R5 Turbo .

  10. Lada Niva all the way, mid engine, AWD and beautifully hideous.

  11. Miata.
    Then you could call it a Mazdarrari

  12. I forgot about a DeTomaso Pantera...

  13. Put it in a Fiero with a Ferrari body kit. That will confuse folks :D


  15. Either a Delorean or an AMC Pacer, flip a coin.

  16. I second the DeLorean. Ueber-Guido! Get an embroided Members-Only jacket that sez "DFC"


Commenting Commandments:
I. Thou Shalt Not write anything your mother would not appreciate reading.
II. Thou Shalt Not post as anonymous unless you are posting from mobile and have technical issues. Use name/url when posting and pick something Urazmus B Jokin, Ben Dover. Sir Edmund Hillary Clint don't matter. Just pick a nom de plume and stick with it.
III. Honor thy own links by using <a href ="http://www.linkgoeshere"> description of your link </a>
IV. Remember the formatting tricks <i>italics</i> and <b> bold </b>
V. Thou Shalt Not commit spam.