Tuesday, December 17, 2013

30k: Jerusalem Cricket: 2007 Ford Mustang Custom

Entering the term "custom" into a craigslist automobile search box is the virtual equivalent lifting paving stones in your backyard on a cool fall day.  Each click of the mouse brings a new crop of otherworldly multi-legged insects that flee the foreign sun or writhe in surprise.  The anticipation of the next repugnant discovery is more tantalizing than the grisly things found...at least until you discover the Jerusalem cricket of the automotive world.  Find this 2007 Ford Mustang Custom for sale in Carmel Valley, CA for $32,500 via craigslist.  Tip from Kaibeezy.



According to the Orkin website "Many people are startled when they see a Jerusalem cricket for the first time. It is a large insect...up to 50 mm long."  I can still clearly recall the first and only time I saw a Jerusalem cricket and it scared the living crap out of me.  Not as much as seeing the above Ford Mustang custom...but enough that I dropped the basket of laundry I was holding and ran to get something with standoff capability for bug squishing.  It had hopped off by the time I returned, probably into its underground lair to prepare for giving little kids nightmares.  The Mustang.  Nope, the pic is still there each time I go back to it and it is giving me nightmares.


The seller is quick to point out that this thing features all-steel custom fabrication and no one is questioning the capability and skill of the metal worker who created this beast....but skill with a trade and good taste don't always go hand in hand.  Pablo Picasso was certainly a talented artist as demonstrated by his early work and even into the blue/rose periods...but his later cubism work is total garbage and his lifelong devotion to Trotskyist communism (while earning him the ironically named Stalin Peace Prize) demonstrates that skill and wisdom do not go hand in hand.


The use of Lotus Elise headlights up front is questionable, but the 1989 Cadillac tail lights in the rear is not questionable -- it is hideous. See another Teenage Mutant Alien Mustang?  Type "format c:" into your  command prompt and never contact us again.

18 comments:

  1. ~ 'the virtual equivalent lifting paving stones in your backyard on a cool fall day. Each click of the mouse brings a new crop of otherworldly multi-legged insects that flee the foreign sun or writhe in surprise. The anticipation of the next repugnant discovery is more tantalizing than the grisly things found...at least until you discover the Jerusalem cricket of the automotive world.'
    . brilliant, DT. thank you.

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  2. So $32k for a 5 year old V6 Mustang with a salvage title and questionably styled bodywork? Where do I sign up?

    I have no doubts about the quality of the metalwork and the skill of the builder... it just... I can't put a finger on it. There isn't a single angle from which this car looks correctly proportioned. It looks like it took a very long time, I just can't help but think the man hours that went into this thing could have been better spent on more worthwhile projects. But to each his own.

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  3. KIll it with fire, then bury it and never speak of it again.

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  4. Do you know why Ford never designed a Mustang that looked like this?

    They have eyes. I had eyes, but then they were burned out of my skull and became two black holes after seeing this monstrosity. I'm typing this by muscle memory and have no idea how I'm going to enter the captcha.

    Cartoonists for children's shows make up better-proportioned and thought-out vehicles than this. This... this... thing is an affront to all that is good in the world. Leno should purchase it solely to hide it away in a mountain fortress, never to scar someone again.

    Also, I dislike Jerusalem crickets as they smell heinous and tend to make unsettling noises when picked up.

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  5. Geez this is horrid. All this "work" then it rolls on stock wheels to boot. Shoot me now.

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  6. Come on, it's been discounted from $42500!
    If you check out his other projects, he does good work, but I have to echo the sentiments above; maybe it's the angles, but I cannot find a shot that appeals to my eye.
    This, as with all custom vehicles, although you make it how YOU want it, you also have to ensure that it appeals to others (not so unique, which is what I think he went for, that it drives others away), although as we have seen in the past, it only takes 1 interested party to make it work.

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  7. I'm stuck trying to figure out the significance of the MUIA license plate Mustang Used In Apocalypse? Morons Under Influence of Acetylene? Morons University of Industrial Arts?!

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  8. How could I have not seen it: Manufactured Under Influence of Alcohol!

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    Replies
    1. Alcohol, or perhaps more likely, amphetamines. Either way, you have my vote for comment of the day. If there even is such a thing.

      Delete
  9. Yes. Yes there is.

    We shall call it The COD.

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  10. This just in, apparently Muia is the builder's last name. I know how irritated I get when folks start to stomp on my family name, so perhaps I'll bow out.

    The man obviously knows what he's doing... I just wish he hadn't done this. More restomods of obscure/little known classics please, Mr. Muia, no more of this.

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    Replies
    1. I'm sure even DaVinci had some drawings and sculptures that he destroyed so as to save his good name. You build enough custom stuff and one or two are bound to turn out like this one. Never know, it might have been built to a customer's spec and then .."no, thanks" when it was done.

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  11. How? Did he just say to himself, "I really like the Ford Mustang, but its just not ugly enough." He's so crazy, and I'm so glad people like him exist. He's keeping it weird. I hope he finds someone who loves half as much as he does.

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  12. Been appraised at $75,000??? By who, his wife?

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  13. I need a can of SUPERSIZED RAID !

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  14. Hey! Whats with the Trotsky hate? Leon would never have let Mother Russia deteriorate into the giant gulag it became.. Precisely because he wasnt on board with the Stalinists, he got the axe.But go ahead and criticize Picasso, thats okay. Trotsky would have driven this Mustang, it represents the workers product!

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  15. why did u guys have to do this to my eyes, ouch, it hurts

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