Monday, September 16, 2013

15k: Transition Metal: 2007 Chevrolet Cobalt SS Turbo

The transition metal Cobalt is an element with atomic weight of 27 and was discovered by a Swedish chemist in the early 18th century.  Cobalt is key component of the chemical cobalamin, commonly known as vitamin B12, a nutrient necessary for all animal life...a subject which we will dive into later.  The Chevrolet Cobalt was the re-boot of the much loathed (and much Boatified) Cavalier from 2004-2010 after which it was also replaced, this time with a similar smelling vehicle called the Cruze.  Find this 2007 Chevrolet Cobalt SS Turbo with 400 horsepower for sale in Elizabethtown, PA for $14,000 via craigslist.  Tip from Kaibeezy who has finally discovered that craigslist functions outside the misty confines of the SF Bay Area...and there was much rejoicing.

For some reason Chevrolet is under the impression that by changing the name of their subcompact econobox the public will like the new version, or at least find it a bit less heinous.  Along the way many a decent Corvair, Vega, Monza, Cavalier, Cobalt & Cruze have been and will be sold, it's just that the vast majority of the low-optioned slushbox variety are complete crap.  Which brings us back to elemental form of Cobalt, which is abundant in the earth's geological landscape, but needs to be driven up the food chain into our mouths and appropriately ingested...more to come.

This Cobalt is the SS variety and as such was originally powered by a 2.0 liter supercharged inline 4-cylinder known as the LSJ that would put out a grossly underrated 205 horsepower, however the seller of this Cobalt has swapped in a healthy Garrett GT3076R turbocharger in place of the supercharger.  Dyno figures aren't available, but the seller estimates 400 horsepower, which is probably an overestimate, and would mean traction issues in the first 3 gears. 

Animals that graze (specifically those that ruminate and are equipped with multi-compartment stomachs, like cows) are able to ingest trace amounts of cobalt salts from grass, which are transformed into vitamin B12 via gut bacteria.  Unfortunately animals who don't graze on mineral rich grasses all day (like you and me) need to ingest vitamin B12 via eating the flesh of other animals, or less desirable, the poo of a ruminant grazer. 

The reason I have gone to great lengths to explain the food chain as it relates to the element cobalt is because I am evolved enough to admit that I would rather eat a diet rich in buffalo scat than be seen driving a Chevy Cobalt.  XCREMENTATE?  email us here:


  1. trifecta! three in a row! (that mitsu doesn't count)

    ok, ok, so maaaaybe there are some interesting cars outside norcal autopia - general observation is the average cars are a lot more average - old accords and crown vics and sentras - plus, assume rust - but car nuts are car nuts, and they are everywhere - i will hop around!

    1. craig brings what craig brings - not all those who wander are lost

  2. Hey DT:

    Based on what I saw out at Jack Murphy stadium in San Diego this weekend at the SoCal "Euro" event.this baby would fit right in. Not so much "Euro" as lots of money poured into Fast and Furious sleds. I mean when a Challenger is racing a Mustang on the drag side.....and Im followinga canary yellow modern Camaro in the gate.the whoe "Euro" deal is kinda not happening. My old P car was very lonely!

    By the bye...looked for the DT hombres handing out DT stickers and you couldnt be found......did you go?

    1. We were there! Three of us in newly-minted white Daily Turismo t-shirts, passing out stickers to owners of cars we liked, and leaving a few under windshield wipers.

      It was odd to see the sheer number of American cars (including a Tesla Model S) on the drag strip, which might say more about the interests of dedicated Eurotrash car owners tending towards road racing.

      Amusingly, some kind of incredibly supercharged VW Rabbit seemed to be the fastest car on the strip, embarrassing Camaros and Teslas alike.

  3. B complex from TargmartgreensVS is also a fantastic way to get cobalamin. While you're there, get vitamin D, 5000 IU per pill.

  4. K, I'll break the trend and actually address the car:
    1) The "brobalt" image is enough to keep me from taking one of these cars seriously.
    2) Yes, I am that superficial.
    3) Leaving Sharpie labels is a great way to remind you if the car you're driving has a turbo or not.
    4) For every 'ring time justifying owning this car, I will post links to pictures of Slobalt owners in flat-bill hats justifying not owning this car.


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