Thursday, November 15, 2012

15k: 1998 Ford E350 ClubWagon Survival Van - w/ Food & Gear

Regular readers may have caught on that we at the Daily Turismo love useful utility vehciles just as much as a good drift circuit ready hoon-mobile.  We don't much care for hybrids of utility and sportiness as they tend to be too much of a compromise and deliver neither.  As a result we tend to have driveways cluttered with partially running projects, our insurance agent on speed dial and our wives all wound up about the latest car purchase - but that is a story for another day.  Today's feature is a car designed to protect the wife and family in case of societal meltdown, be it via natural disaster, thermonuclear war or zombie invasion.  This 1998 Ford E350 Clubwagon is for sale for an optimistic buy it now price of $22,600 in Houston Texas via ebay and, and the age old adage of never judge of book by its cover strongly applies to this one.

What looks like a plain-jane E350 Clubwagon with double doors on the passenger side is actually a fully outfitted survival van.  Thats right, its got enough food and junk inside to supposedly last a family of 4 for "years."  The seller puts no specific duration of survival capability, probably because he understands that un-refrigerated mayonnaise won't last for more than a few days.

A quick inspection of the ClubWagon's contents exposes the buyer to a stunning  array of goods - starting with an 8 kilowatt generator and ending with 260 page book of survival training...more on that later.

The ebay ad shows bucket after bucket filled with canned goods, chili, Vienna sausages, spam, green beans...whoa, if its a gas attack you are fleeing, don't come into this van!  Included is also a bottle of laundry detergent - which doesn't really match with the 50 year supply of iodized salt - we think that if you are living in a van  surrounded by post-apocalyptic wasteland the smell of your dirty laundry for the first two weeks isn't going to be a deal breaker.  We'd swap that for something useful, like a lifetime supply of flint and steel.

The icing on this survival van layer cake has got to be the 260+ page book of survival training, including tips on how to drink your own urine (quickly!), how to preserve store and trade seeds and time to kill -how to kill a man with your bare hands...but the base is surely "Bartering -- How to Barter with Desperate People"...Take note, if the apocalypse occurs don't stop to help anybody in a white unmarked ClubWagon, they will probably kill, skin, eat and barter your hide for some salt.

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  1. Someplace in this ad, they should include the line;

    "All this van needs is you and your weapons..."

    Unfortunately, not Zombie Proof. No brush guard, window screens, gun ports or even a back-up fuel can (or 3).

    And finally, are you certain this isn't some type of art project?

  2. Apparently this seller like many of those similarly inclined believe that Romneys recent beatdown requires him or her to be ready for the Apocalypse/Rapture. He/she can toss Home Depot buckets out the back at the 47% as they chase him down the road

    1. I agree... the NRA probably supported Obama behind closed doors, knowing that sales of firearms would skyrocket if he won...

    2. ~ Nibiru is rapidly approaching bringing the end of the Meso-american Long Count calendar cataclysm on 21 December,'12. we'll all be bartering with desperate people.
      . some insist 'chili,no beans' ain't chili.

  3. ~ flint and steel is good, a zip-lock full of Bic lighters has high worth when you're ready to bug-out. preppers need convenience, too.
    . my mom used to tell us, 'keep your powder dry'. don't think she forecast society's collapse, however.

  4. ~

    here is our last chance to screw 'unkle' out of a sales tax buck.
    Your purchase will be reflected on 2 Bills of Sale:
    1. 25% of the Purchase will be for the Vehicle
    2. 75% of the Purchase will be for Supplies, Equipment, Services, and Delivery'

  5. On the off chance that your survival pack still has a decent arrangement of room you can include a bedroll or "space cover". survival tips

  6. I am definitely enjoying your website. You definitely have some great insight and great stories. heirloom vegetables


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